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Breathing through the pinkness

Uncategorized Aug 06, 2020

Some have to overcome cancer; others the loss of a child, divorce, or financial hardship. I had to overcome the aversion to what I thought was an equally regrettable affliction: being born pink.

I always knew I was a girl, never thought I was actually a boy in a girl’s body but nevertheless mourned getting the short end of the stick. Boys had more fun. My three brothers proved it. They could get dirtier, tease danger more aggressively, and wear pants all the time – even on Sundays, when I was tamed into skirts that made my knobby knees and calfless legs look all the more gangly and interfered grievously with Jacaranda tree climbing on the street where I grew up.

I have more proof of the pink disadvantage: Boys somehow look fine without make-up, and there are certain afflictions they don’t need to deal with twelve times a year. Say no more. On my first day in high school, I was awarded a cardboard lawnmower as a trophy for having the hairiest legs among the girls....

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Finding your way in the jungle of parenting and professional clashes

Uncategorized Aug 06, 2020

My in-laws recently moved into our garden flat, but months before the removal truck arrived, a huge trailer loaded with what seemed like their entire garden came crawling up the driveway. It was loaded with potted plants. Not just any kind, though.  The kind that I don’t like.  Strange, cactus-like plants. They were huge and there were so many of them. I wanted to cry. I had a meeting booked, so could leave before I could explode or complain. I returned a few hours later to find the plants dotted around not just their flat, but also all around my house. What shocked me was how great it looked. It suited the character of my house! Upon close inspection, the plants are downright ugly. Zooming out, though, they add to a pretty picture.

Our kids can be like that. The closer we look, the more upset we become about this bad habit that won’t subside despite our strictest discipline and that good habit that is not yet learned in spite of huge incentives. However, when...

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How to talk to our meltdown-prone lollipop tree children

Uncategorized Aug 06, 2020

By Hettie Brittz. Adapted from Growing Kids with Character 2.0. Copyrighted.

(N.B. – In the USA lollipop trees are known as boxwood trees)

Lollipop trees are the children we need to talk to as though our words were stones and these precious kids were made of glass. It can be exhausting, BUT when we care enough to adapt to their preferred communication style, these sometimes timid little ones bloom into productive and emotionally intelligent delights.

If we really want our lollipops to understand what we say, we will do them and ourselves a favour to follow these guidelines:

  • A lollipop listens to the way we speak (emotions), and not only to what we say. We should, therefore, communicate very calmly and in a friendly way. They can “catch on” to our negativity very quickly if we talk in a whiny tone, and then we can expect a nasty reaction.
  • Lollipops sometimes have trouble listening and want as many written instructions as possible. Make sketches of rules and put...
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A short guide to a better work ethic in teens

Uncategorized Aug 06, 2020

by Hettie Brittz and talltreestraining.com


Last week around 9 pm, after a parenting talk, I walked out of a church in the USA with a lady who was visibly hobbling along on sore feet. She works in the church kitchen and had just finished cleaning after having cooked three different meal options for around 80 people. She had started her duty early that morning. I sympathized with her about her aching legs. Her response was, “Wednesday is my favorite day. I just love to see people enjoying the food I prepare!” Her face was beaming with sincere gratitude for the privilege of serving others.

Yesterday, in the home we’re hosted in at present, a septic tank became an issue. A leader in the church came to the house, crawled under and overbuilding rubble and spars to reach the septic tank. He dug away through the filth for two hours, to make sure what the problem was. This man’s actions said, “Nothing that can help others is below me.”

Today, I left a...

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